


First Kiss

by thetimba



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age Inquisition - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetimba/pseuds/thetimba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First Kiss / Start Romance with Cullen.<br/>The Inquisitor tells Cullen how she feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Kiss

_You can do this._

She stares at the door in front of her.  It’s simply that; a door, a solid length of wood, _pine?  Oh stop it and FOCUS,_ and metal, but she eyes with an intent that seems more appropriate for one of the Terrors that she’s slayed in the Hinterlands.

_You can do this._

She doesn't knock, because Maker knows if she has to wait for him to answer, if she has any more time to think about it, she’ll back down.  Again. _I am not thinking about that._   She takes a breath to gird herself, and opens the door with slightly more force than is necessary.

Cullen looks up at from the pile of papers on his desk, a hint of a smile on his face, and just like that, her heart starts to pound again. _Maker, he is beautiful._ She stares, unable to speak.

“Yes?”

She steadies herself, her smile tight.  _If it goes poorly, there are plenty of mountains around to pull down on my head_.  “I thought we could talk.  Alone?” She hates that she makes it a question.

Her heart is so loud in her ears, she hardly hears his reply.  It must have been agreement, because he steps away from his work, and gestures at the door to the ramparts.

She rehearses again what she wants to say as they head along the walk.  The spot isn't perfect, but it’s better than the continually opening door to his office, and even with the patrols, it’s as alone as it’s possible to be in Skyhold.  _Bedrooms notwithstanding, I suppose,_ and as quickly as she thinks it, she shies away from the image THAT produces.

“It’s a nice day.”

“What?!”  She’s so concerned with not picturing him in bed...sheets tangled around- _stop it!_ that she’s nearly missed this comment, too.

“It’s...there’s something you wished to discuss.” Not a question.

In a slight panic at his flat tone, _Maker, she hadn't meant to snap so!,_ she forgets her carefully planned speech and stutters out, “I.  I find myself thinking of you.  More than...well, all the time, really.”

And here it is.  She can’t look at him, can’t tear her eyes away, can’t stay still, can’t move... can’t breathe, _Say something!_ It’s a second that feels like an Age.

“I can’t say I haven’t wondered what it’d be like,” he says, turning away.

Now she can move, and she follows him.  “What’s stopping you?” No stutter this time.  Now her composure is back.  Just like on the battlefield, her mind is clear; her goal seems in easy reach.  This is where she is at her best, when there’s nothing to do but push forward.

“You’re the Inquisitor.  We’re at war.  And you...I didn't think it was possible.”

_Does he sound...? Is that...hope?_

He moves closer, and her pulse skips.  He smells like steel and oil, like parchment and something that she can’t identify but she tries so that she can remember.

 She wishes that she was gifted with words like her eldest brother, or with the sultry looks her sisters use to ensnare their suitors, but all she has is herself, battle tested, but untried in matter of the heart.  She says...something.  It must be the right thing, because he answers and takes another step towards her.  Her heart pounds and reflex has her moving backwards, the keep brushing her shoulders.

 “But I want to-“

He leans in, and now she stays still.  Time slows again. She can savour the weight of his hand on her hip, the brush of his hair on her forehead, his breath on her lips as he exhales.  Slowly, slowly he inches forward, and she looks at him, wanting to hold this moment forever.

“Commander!”

Reality slams back and her eyes snap open.  When had she closed them? One of the scouts, eyes on the report in front of him is approaching, demanding Cullen’s attention.  _Why does this never work?  The awkward conversation about Templar vows, that disastrous chess game..._

“What?” Cullen growls out, advancing on the hapless scout. 

She looks skyward.  _Am I supposed to take this as a sign?_

“Sister Leliana’s report.  You wanted it ‘without delay’.”

There is an interminable silence, so she risks a glance, and there on the scout’s face is the dawning realization of what he’s interrupted.  She shifts and rubs a hand over her face to hide the blush she feels creeping up.

 “Or...to your office...right.”    The poor man runs as if a demon were on his heels.   

_Oh, sweet Andraste, just let the earth swallow me._

She can’t quite meet Cullen’s eyes, and if the Maker himself came and commanded her, she wouldn’t be able to keep the disappointment from her voice.  But perhaps he was right...they are at war. She tries to say, “If you need to go, I understand.”

She gets out four words, the rest lost in a rush of air as he closes the gap between them, and _Oh, Maker,_ he is pressed against her and his mouth is on hers and his hands are in her hair and it is GLORIOUS.  She hardly cares about the cold stone at her back, for the warmth of the man in front of her.  His lips move over hers, hard and hot, practically burning, and yet for a moment, she is frozen.

Then she is melting into him, her hands clutching at him, and she is kissing him back, trying to make up for months of longing in this one heartbeat, desperate for the feel of him, wanting him closer, wanting more...just wanting.

She fights for composure when he pulls away, but the tender look in his eyes, the way he brushes a hand down her face, and the sound of his voice as he speaks keep her emotions in a whirl.  She hears the words ‘I’m sorry’, and her heart stops.

“You don’t regret it, do you?”

 “No! Not at all.” 

She feels a flood of relief. And he bends down again, _again!_ but this is no rushed, heat of the moment kiss.  This is a slow, tender exploration, and she can barely stand the sweetness of it.  His lips are gentle, teasing, tasting. She is not frozen this time and her hands come up to rest in his hair, and there is nothing on the earth more important than this.

He practically groans her name, pulling back just far enough to rest his forehead against hers.  It’s the first time he’s called her anything other than ‘Herald’ or ‘Inquisitor’ .  She doesn't think he’s realized he’s said it.  “I have to-“

“I know,” she cuts in softly.  So does she.  Her fingers twist and comb through the fur at his shoulders.  She was to head back out this morning, hadn't wanted to leave without seeing him. There is much to be done. But she doesn't let go, and he doesn't back away.

She revels in the feel of his hands stroking her hair, in the quiet sounds of his armour as he shifts.  But this respite can’t last.  So she reaches to take his hands in hers, and he obligingly untangles them from her hair, but his fingers still move, stroking her hands.

“Can we-“

“I’d like to-“

She smiles as they speak over each other and touches his face.  The kiss on her palm is unexpected, her heart flutters at the contact and her words flee her again.

“This was more than I’d dreamed...I hadn't thought...” _breathe._ “I hope that I can see you?  When I return?”

She doesn't wait to hear his reply, still half afraid that he’ll... _no, best to leave now._ She turns to walk away, but Cullen catches her hand and pulls her to him for a kiss steals her breath.

“I would like that,” he whispers. “Very much.”

Then he releases her, and strides away.   She watches him go, waits until he closes the door behind him before turning to leave.  The sooner she is gone, the sooner she can return.

**Author's Note:**

> Can not get this scene out of my head (I have many feels), so I fleshed it out a little. There's not a lot of wiggle room in the dialogue, but I did try to keep it from being just a word-for-word recital. 
> 
> It's been a very long time since I've written anything for public consumption, and this is my first work in this fandom, so please let me know if there's anything...totally awful. I know that I have serious issues with commas in particular. (sorry)


End file.
